Cute baby's trouble with the spoon

A Funny Interview (True Story)

Amazing interview, probably can help you in your future interviews. This actually happened in Infosys Bangalore in the year 2007. Last answer is awesome..............

Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.

Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Inst it Ute of Technology.

Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Inst it Ute of Technology? I had never heard of this college before!

Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission into it ..

What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly! In 12th.I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to call him 'baap') - "I can not invest so much of money".(The baap actually said - "I will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya

Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your engineering.

Candidate: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.

Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.

Candidate: Oh, is it ? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot.. I think they should ban it .

Interviewer: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.

Candidate: No, no... I am talking about Exams!!

Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?

Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would complete it . In fact, when I flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus

Corporation in Maharashtra ) through some relative.

Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study?

Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education it self was so much of pain!!

Interviewer: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you worked?

Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can see I have experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the places in Mumbai)

Interviewer: And which languages have you used?

Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German, French, Russian and many other languages.

Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?

Candidate: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up w it h a new language VD!

Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?

Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it . But I guess, this is the language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.

Interviewer: What is your general project experience?

Candidate: My general experience about projects is - most of the times they are in pipeline!

Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?

Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata Info Tech Ltd. Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows.

Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?

Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And very important - I know few words like - 'Showstoppers ' , 'hot fixes', 'SEI-CMM', 'quality', 'version control', 'deadlines' , 'Customer Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!

Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?

Candidate: Not much.

1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand..

2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.

3. I believe in flexi-timings.

4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.

5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to avoid breakdown due to overwork.

6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe. But considering the fact that there are Olympics coming up in China

in the current year, I don't mind going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?

Interviewer: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our

organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to INFOSYS.

The fellow was appointed in a newly created section 'Stress Management' in the HRD of Info sys. 

Philosophy

Aladdin was a fool

Yeah, I would say it again. Aladdin could have been more clever and made his three wishes into more wishes. See the picture below

How Smartphone users see themselves and how others see them

Click to make it bigger

Never argue with Idiots

Have ever got entangled in situations where you get into an argument with an idiot and the discussion keeps going without making any point, where you felt you're gaining nothing in the argument but your time and energy is going down the drain. Well, this happened to me many times and just recently I stopped arguing with such people. I just listen to what they have to say, nod my head if I have to and save my effort and time to do better things. The picture below might make you smile.

Best Environment Picture of 2010

Category: Natural World

Fly to Eye by Bence Mate

Category: Underwater World

Flight of the Rays by Florian Schulz

Under 21 Category

The Fortune

How Software Projects Work

Click to make it big

Moles on your face

You might have not liked the mole on your face, but trust me, it tells a lot about your personality. Check out the position of your mole from the above picture and know what it means from the excerpt below:

Position 1 to 3
As a child, you are somewhat rebellious and a free spirit. You have an innate creativity and work best when you are given a free hand. Generally, your superiors like your avante garde approach to life. If you have a mole here, you are far better off in business and being your own boss rather than working for somebody. What is promising is that you have the luck to be your own boss.

Position 4
You are an impulsive person, often acting with a flamboyance that gives you charisma and a sparkling personality, but you can be difficult when there are too many opinions. You tend to be rather argumentative, but never to the point of holding grudges. This mole tends to give you an explosive temper and should you decide to remove it, you will find yourself becoming calmer and more at peace with the world.

Position 5
A mole above the eyebrow indicates that there is wealth luck in your life, but you will need to earn it and work harder than most people. All the income you make must be carefully kept as there are people who are jealous of you who might attempt to sweet talk you into parting with your wealth. Be wary of those who try to interest you in get-rich-quick schemes. If you have a mole here, it is advisable not to be too trusting of others. Follow your instincts and be cautious. And never allow other people to control your finances.

Position 6
A mole here indicates intelligence, creativity and skill as an artist. Your artistic talent can bring you wealth, fame and success. It also indicates wealth luck, but this can only be fully realized if you follow your heart rather than stick to conventional means of making a living. Success will come if you are brave.

Position 7
Moles under the eyebrows indicate arguments within the extended family that cause you grief and unhappiness. This will affect your work and livelihood. It is advisable to settle any differences you have with your relatives if you want peace of mind to move ahead.

Position 8
This is not a very good position for a mole. Your financial position will constantly be under strain because of a tendency to overspend. You also have a penchant for gambling. The only thing is you must know when to stop. Meanwhile, someone with a mole here has a tendency to flirt with members of the opposite sex as well as with the same sex. Better be a little discerning where you exert your charms, or you might get into trouble.

Position 9 
This mole position suggests sexual and other problems. It is an unfortunate mole and you are well advised to get rid of it. It brings a litany of woes and a parade of problems.

Position 10
A mole here just under the nose indicates excellent descendants luck. You are surrounded by family at all times and will have many children and grandchildren. You have the support of those close to you and will be both materially and emotionally fulfilled.

Position 11
Moles here suggest a tendency to succumb to illness. It is a good idea to have this mole removed especially if it is a large, dark-coloured mole. Otherwise use lots of foundation to cover it.

Position 12
A mole here foretells a successful but also a very balanced life. You are likely to be not just rich, but famous as well. But although you have every opportunity to live the high life, you will have a satisfying home and family life as well. Women with moles here are particularly lucky and tend to be beautiful and glamourous as well.

Position 13
Your children will be a big worry in your life. Your relationship with them is not good. There is nothing much you can do about this except to learn some tolerance.

Position 14 
A mole here suggests a vulnerability to food which can be a big problem in your life. You may have allergies against certain foods or you may simply be eating too much.

Position 15
You are a person always on the move and constantly renovating and redesigning your house. You like to be introduced to new things and see new places. You are not happy if you remain in one place for long. You enjoy travel and adventure, and have a very observant eye.

Position 16
You need to be careful when it comes to eating, and also when it comes to your sex life. These are your two biggest problems. You tend to have weight issues which can make you depressed. You enjoy romance, sometimes with more than one person, but because you are a person with some morality, you will feel guilty about it and this will cause you much stress.

Position 17
You will be someone of great social prominence. You are active on the social scene and an excellent conversationalist. There is a tendency to become bigheaded about your success, which could lose you your good name. This will affect you deeply because you draw your confidence and self worth from what others think of you.

Position 18 
You are a person always on the move. There is a great deal of overseas travel in your life, but you should take extra care each time you cross the great waters, as your mole prefers you to stay at home.

Position 19
You have money luck and many good friends, so this is a good mole to have. Your weakness is that you tend to succumb to the charms of the opposite sex. In your life, it is this that could get you into hot water, so do cool your ardour!

Position 20
A mole here can be very lucky or very unlucky. If you have a mole here, you are destined either for extreme fame or infamy. You have great flair for creativity and are also highly intelligent, but your talents can be used for both good and bad. You are not a person to be trifled with for you are no pushover and do not forgive and forget easily. This mole is a mark of someone who will go down in history either as a great or as a tyrant.

Position 21
This is a good mole, as it suggests plenty to eat and drink throughout your life. This mole also brings fame and recognition.

Position 22
Your life is always happy and things go smoothly for you. You could well become a sports superstar if you have the passion for it. Moles at the end of eyebrows also suggest a person of authority and power, so if you are the CEO of a company, you will do very well.

Position 23
You have a high IQ, and you are both brain smart and street smart. You have a highly-developed survival instinct and will lead a meaningful and long life. You will be active until a very old age and will have friends and family around you till the very end.

Position 24
You will achieve fame and fortune in your young age and you are advised to use this period to safeguard your old age, as people with moles here tend to have a harderlife as they get older.

Position 25
You will enjoy good prosperity and recognition luck, but do be careful of excesses. Stay traditional in your attitudes and you will have a long and fruitful life.


-From Tung Shu - A Chinese Almanac

For you...

I wait for a sign so I know you are mine everyday,
I look in the mirror and I see your face.
The walls break down, when you smile at me;
And the world's much brighter than the one I see.
-Anjaana Anjaani

One Advice

iPhone and Android Softwares

I did not have any problem with the iPhone or rather the iOS (i operating system) and actually did not know why the market was going high for the Android phones. So I bought a Smart phone for myself with the Android software and have been using it since the past one month. Yes, indeed Android is a much much better  software than the iOS. You have so many features and so much more control over the phone and its capabilities and as all know the multi-tasking feature is present in the android. 

Anyways, my reason for this discussion is that I actually wanted to share a smile with you through this comic picture

The Ray of Hope

Though my smiles are vanished forever, I love my mother who wipes my tears;
Though I'm spanked a lot, I love to hold my father's finger and walk;
I love my brother's support, who inspires me to stand strong and fight hard;
I love my God who gave all this happiness to my life;
Though darkness starts to fill every nook and corner,
the ray of hope which keeps me going is what, I love the most...

Follow these

Secrets to Happiness

The Word Busy and its Analysis

One of the few words in English which is very often used by many of us and which annoys me the most is the word “busy”. People use this word to inform others that they cannot cater to their needs as they have much more important things to do. I did my research on the people who most often use this word and found out some bitter facts on which I am shedding some light.

People give certain level of importance to each and everything they do, they have to do and they’re asked to do. Naturally, the job with a higher level of importance overweighs the one with the lower and hence he/she says that I am “busy”. For example, if that particular person is approached by an acquaintance who seeks help at a time when he is involved in some other job, the former would immediately inform the latter that he needs to come back later as he is busy presently. The true answer or the hidden meaning of the word busy in this case would be, “I am not willing to do it” or “I don’t want to do it now”.  This might not be the case if the help-asked comes with a great fortune which could be either money or fame. The situation might also be different if the person seeking help is a big shot. In such cases the term busy does not find a place. 

Sometimes the concerned person could be the exact opposite of being busy and still says I am busy. This marks the willingness of the person to perform a different action at that time. I have seen a young guy who came home straight from his office and sat in front of the TV playing with his new Xbox 360. Now, according me at least, he is not busy. He got a call from his mom who asked him if he could spend some time talking to her, to which he replies he cannot as he is busy. This is a case of willingness. If a person is willing to do a particular job, his busyness never cases an obstruction. Time is never available to anyone; it has to be made available. Its’ just an act of willingness which makes everything possible, lack of which makes him “busy”.

Raj McKay

Schare's Theory of Soul

The book of Paranquita by Schare Kajmy goes into a high detail about the human soul and its characteristics. According to Schare, the human form of the Soul is only a part, significant though, of its whole journey. The Soul had a journey before the human birth and its journey continues even after the human death. The only catch here is that the Soul never remembers anything about its past journey during its present form. Just like we do not know where we came from and we did before we have taken the human form, our Soul in its future endeavors would not remember what we are and what we do after our death. By this, Schare's theory completely contradicts the earlier theories about human incarnation and Soul taking another human form after death. "Human form is a significant part of a soul but it won't keep doing the same thing again because there are other duties as well that the Soul has to perform", says Schare. He also doesn't like the idea of referring to the soul as the human soul because it very much reduces its significance.

Excerpts from Paranquita: The Theory of Soul - Chapter 1 

Pattern Recognition

Have you ever gone for a walk or a jog early in the morning or late in the evening when its all quiet. If not, then try it out one time. I would advise you to go for a walk early in the morning in the woods. There are many parks in everyone's locality where there are long trails for a good walk. And when you do that, concentrate on every little detail that you find on the way. It could be anything, the grass that grows on the side of the trail, the shape of the leaves on the big trees in the way, the size of the small grails of sand, the chirping of the birds and so on. Everything has a strict pattern, concentrate on that. At first it seems to be a random disorder but its not. For example, before we started to read english, the long paragraphs of literature seemed to be a random arrangement of unrecognizable letters, but we learned the art of understanding the meaning of it. Now we can read and acknowledge everything thats written. Similarly, nothing on this earth is in random disorder. Every small little thing has a particular arrangement. It seems to be far from our understanding but its not. A glass when dropped from a height might break into many small pieces, we might not hold any significance to the shape and size of the broken pieces but there is a hidden meaning to each of the shattered part. Our Sages and Saints have gained the wisdom to understand these patterns and thus earned the halo of knowledge they have.

Excerpts from the Modern Bible: The Tone of God

How True

Now, how true can something else get? But distance matters, I am too far away from work to go cycling all the way.

Picture courtesy: Good

Modern Life

I saw this funny picture in choaslevel.com today. First I felt very funny then I realized how true it has become these days. Should try to bring some change, but its quite difficult right?

I atleast change the computers :)

Indian Rupee Symbol

The Indian government has introduced the symbol for the Indian Rupee. This is how it looks

Do you think the dollar's better?

The Six Affairs

The 1st Affair:

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.

One day they went her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM .

The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.

He put on his shoes and drove home.

"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.

"I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had Abuse Word all afternoon."

"You lying bastard!

You've been playing golf!"

===========

The 2nd Affair:

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always

talked about having a son.

They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.

He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.

He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby.

Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?"

The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "Not this time!"

===========

The 3rd Affair:

A mortician was working late one night.

He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!

"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician commented, "I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity."

So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.

"I have to show you something you won't believe," he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.

"My God!" the wife exclaimed, "Schwartz is dead?!?!"

===========

The 4th Affair:

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening

the front door.

"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner."

She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.

"Don't move until I tell you," she said. "Pretend you're a statue."

"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.

"Oh it's a statue." she replied. "The Smith's bought one and I liked it so much I got one for us, too."

No more was said, not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.

"Here," he said to the statue, "have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smith's and nobody offered me a damned thing."

===========

The 5th Affair:

A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.

"Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent."

"One Cent?" the man thought.

He glanced at the menu and asked, "How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?"

"A nickel," the barman replied.

"A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"

The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife."

The man asked, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"

The bartender replied, "The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."

===========

The 6th Affair:

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside..

He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess."

"There's no need to," his wife replied.

"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"

"I know, I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work."

Girls' Profiles from Matrimony Sites

These are Girls profiles taken from Matrimony sites These are actual ads on a matrimony site. Grammar and
spelling errors have no place in a profile description as everything is straight from the heart!

Disclaimer : I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after reading this mail...

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
Hello To Viewers My Name is Sowmya , I am single i dont have male,If any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my
home. I am not a good education but i working all field in bangalore.. if u like me u welcome to my heart...
when ever u whant to meet pls visit my resident or
send u letter..
Thanks
yours Regards Sowmya ~*~
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
i want very simple boy. from brahmin educated family from Orissa state she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework
(Wut Homework?)
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first step of love. I am looking for my dreamboy who will love me more than i.
Because i love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on ........hold my hand forever !!!

(The dilwale dulhaniya effect)
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
i am simple girl. I have lot of problemin my life because of my lucknow i am looking one boy he care me and love me lot lot lot
(I don't know why but this is one of my favorites)
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
i want a boy with no drinks if he wants he can wear jeans in house but while steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast

(by not wearing his jeans? Wat the hell...)
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GIRL,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL MESSENGEROF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A BOY
,THEY ARE

1.THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.
2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION
3. THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY
TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.
(all of us are loughing {laughing})
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
whatever he may be but he should feel that he is going to be someone groom and he must think of the future life if he is toolike this he would be called the man of the lamp
(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this girl wants)
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and I love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate
ok
(I am again clueless but I liked the use of "ok". The person is suffering from "Ok-syndrome")
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
iam pranati my family histoy my two brother two sister and father & mother sister completely married

(somebody please explain in comments section how to get married 'completely' ?)
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
my name is farhanbegum and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes

(height of desperation! J )
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
i am kanandevi. i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred.
(No comments)
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
hello i am a good charactarised woman. i want to run my life happily. i divorced my first husband. his charactor is not good'.
i expect the good minded and clean habits boy who may be in the same caste or other caste accepted ...
(but credit cards not accepted..?? ?)
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
Iam Sharmila my colour is black, but my heart is white. i like social service.
(Zebra..???)

Nokia pulling Apple's Leg

By this time you might have heard of the Apple's iPhone 4 problem. If you do not hold it the way you are supposed to hold it, the phone loses its reception. Surprised? Shocked? Confused? But, it is true. 

This is how Apple responded to all the complaints about the loss of reception, "Gripping any mobile phone will result in some attenuation of its antenna performance, with certain places being worse than others depending on the placement of the antennas."

I have used so many phones until now but never have I had this problem. Anyways, I have gone through some Nokia blog conversations and here's what I found:

"The key function on any Nokia device is its ability to make phone calls. After all, that’s why we know them universally as mobile phones (or smart phones, feature phones or mobile computers – though the same grip styles work for those, too). One of the main things we’ve found about the 1 billion plus Nokia devices that are in use today is that when making a phone call, people generally tend to hold their phone like a…. well, like a phone. Providing a wide range of methods and grips for people to hold their phones, without interfering with the antennae, has been an essential feature of every device Nokia has built."

Now isn't that fun?

The Quest to Target

I moved around feeling a pulse,

a vivacious dream and a vivid thought,

was pricked by thorns and hit by stones.

Unswerved and unmoved,

I followed the path where my heart took me.

Sometimes it was so dark, I couldn’t see a thing.

The terrain scared me, but my determination helped,

't gave me some light, showed me a way out.

I had no companion, neither did I need one.

My strength was my belief, my energy was my vision.

They were my friends, I stuck to them until the end.

As I dragged along my way,

I felt no hunger or thirst.

All I could feel was an imminent destiny.

A masquerade of beauty came along,

A veiled ecstasy of pleasure to distract me,

Diversions could never avert me.

I remained strong, unnerved and undeterred

Only my target was in my mind.

When the final moment came,

I saw the glow of a lifetime.

The purpose of life lied in front,

Immersed in the glory of that light were

the desires and the passions known until now.

-Raj McKay